I've been doing some soul searching...

[hutter]

...and I'm considering a Church to join. Lord knows my attitude is often deplorable and I can use some spiritual help to correct that, so I did some research and found a few I was considering.

The first one I did some research on was Scientology. Before you laugh, consider this: John Travolta is a member. He was great in Pulp Fiction, right? And who didn't like Saturday Night Fever? So here's what I found> http://www.xenu.net/roland-intro.html
Wow. I had no idea that Scientology was a money scam invented by a third rate sci-fi writer. I thought it was legit. Oh well.

Next candidate: The Chuch of the SubGenius. Sounds like it's right up my alley. Let's take a looksee> http://www.modemac.com/cgi-bin/wiki.pl/ ... ss_Project
Oh. It's a joke religion. Ha ha. It's funny, but only for a minute. Next.

My grandparents were Baptist, so I figured I'd google up some info on the Baptist Church...man, it's not the Baptist Church I was told about on visits to mamah and papaws farm> http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/index.html
Unbelievable. I don't want any part of a Church that hates homosexuals. I guess the Baptist Church won't be getting any visits from me.

Well, maybe I'll check out the Church that Donny and Marie attend. They seem like nice wholesome folks who wouldn't judge anyone. So I took a looksee into their Church, and man...it doesn't really sound too much different than the other Churches I've been looking into. THIS page in particular really sent off the red flags for me> http://lds-mormon.com/racism.shtml
I had no idea that Donny, Marie and even little Jimmy Osmond were racists and homophobes! You can bet I won't be watching the Pyramid anymore. What a bunch of judgemental sickos. No marriage between races? Black folks are not going to Heaven? Gays have no place in Heaven, under any circumstances? You can have more than one wife? (okay, I kinda like that last one, but anyhoo...)

I don't even want to share what I found out about Islam...(shudders)

Is there any religion out there that doesn't have some kind of twisted agenda?

[Bitter Almonds]

<p align="justify">Bahá'í? Hehe[}:)]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bah%C3%A1'%C3%AD_Faith


I'd fail the morality test on many levels: Too in love with lust and too gluttonous to belong to any group that stresses self-restraint and self-denial. It's still better than being some kooky wiccan - only crazy fat chicks who are pale and have unnatural auburn-red hair believe in that poppycock. They also have a ton of cats. I hate cats[}:)]

[iposse]

Try these:

The Church of the Poison Mind

The First Church of the Fonz (from Family Guy)

Movementarianism (from the Simpsons)

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(http://www.venganza.org/)

[The_Freeman]

Why not become a Seventh Day Advent Hoppist? Worked for Rimmer and his parents after all.

You could always join Church of England. If the king can have 8 wives and have most of them killed and still get into heaven, so can you.

[Rubbeet921]

Hutter, I know this is not easy for you to accept but please... leave your soul alone! It's hard to find something... when it's hiding from you!!![:D]

[Bitter Almonds]

[quote][i]Originally posted by iposse[/i]
<br>Try these:

The Church of the Poison Mind

The First Church of the Fonz (from Family Guy)

Movementarianism (from the Simpsons)

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
(http://www.venganza.org/)


[/quote]


<p align="justify">I'm all for revering The Fonz. That is, until I realise it's just Henry Winkler[V] How about Lords Of The New Church?[}:)]

[Panorama]

Here's an idea for you: The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic
http://www.apatheticagnostic.com/index.html
http://www.apatheticagnostic.com/contents.html

"WARNING
A caution to visitors
This site deals with the doctrine of Apathetic Agnosticism in a combination of total seriousness and sophomoric humour. It is up to you, the visitor, to determine which is which."

---------------------------
"Photography with a Vision"
http://www.cooganphoto.com

[i_like_lectric_motors]

[quote]Originally posted by hutter

Is there any religion out there that doesn't have some kind of twisted agenda?

[/quote]

No, but you certainly picked out the worst of the worst. I would say the least harmful would be Paganism and Buddhism.

Semi-related question. What's the secular term for those body of christ wafers? IIRC, those things kick ass but I don't want to have to go to church to get one. Can you buy them in stores?

-------
Results:
Too much damage done. Go away. [78%] 63 votes
Yah! Kimiiii is back! Hip hip hooray! [22%] 18 votes

[hutter]

[quote][i]Originally posted by i_like_lectric_motors[/i]
Semi-related question. What's the secular term for those body of christ wafers? IIRC, those things kick ass but I don't want to have to go to church to get one. Can you buy them in stores?
[/quote]

http://www.manischewitz.com/products/matzo/index.php
http://www.bhgpr.com/client.cfm?client=89

You can get them at most grocery stores, at least down here and throughout the mid-west. Just go to the kosher food section, or have an employee show you where they're at.

And yeah, they're pretty good.

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/

[eight6]

[quote][i]Originally posted by hutter[/i]
<br>[quote][i]Originally posted by i_like_lectric_motors[/i]
Semi-related question. What's the secular term for those body of christ wafers? IIRC, those things kick ass but I don't want to have to go to church to get one. Can you buy them in stores?
[/quote]

http://www.manischewitz.com/products/matzo/index.php
http://www.bhgpr.com/client.cfm?client=89

You can get them at most grocery stores, at least down here and throughout the mid-west. Just go to the kosher food section, or have an employee show you where they're at.

And yeah, they're pretty good.

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/
[/quote]

If I remember correctly, they taste like Melba toast, minus the flavor.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/dbince/eight.gif"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/dbince/number6.gif">

[hutter]

[quote][i]Originally posted by eight6[/i]
If I remember correctly, they taste like Melba toast, minus the flavor.
[/quote]
You must be remembering wrong. They're great! Especially with peanut butter. Yum yum.

Any religious recomendations for me, Eight 6?

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/

[i_like_lectric_motors]

[quote][i]Originally posted by hutter[/i]
<br>[quote][i]Originally posted by i_like_lectric_motors[/i]
Semi-related question. What's the secular term for those body of christ wafers? IIRC, those things kick ass but I don't want to have to go to church to get one. Can you buy them in stores?
[/quote]

http://www.manischewitz.com/products/matzo/index.php
http://www.bhgpr.com/client.cfm?client=89

You can get them at most grocery stores, at least down here and throughout the mid-west. Just go to the kosher food section, or have an employee show you where they're at.

And yeah, they're pretty good.

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/
[/quote]

That's them? Seriously? I thought they were smooth wafer things and not crackers (more like a thin cookie). Speaking of cookies, sometimes the b.o.c. thing is has another cookie on top of it. Those rule too.

-------
Results:
Too much damage done. Go away. [78%] 63 votes
Yah! Kimiiii is back! Hip hip hooray! [22%] 18 votes

[hutter]

Maybe we're thinking of two different things. The wafers you're talking about were found in a Catholic Church, right? If so, I have no idea where one could get those. Maybe one of our Catholic members here can shed some light.

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/

[eight6]

[quote][i]Originally posted by hutter[/i]

Any religious recomendations for me, Eight 6?

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/
[/quote]

I've been trying to start my own faith, why not be the first to worship at my feet.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/dbince/eight.gif"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/dbince/number6.gif">

[hutter]

[quote][i]Originally posted by eight6[/i]
<br>[quote][i]Originally posted by hutter[/i]

Any religious recomendations for me, Eight 6?

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/
[/quote]

I've been trying to start my own faith, why not be the first to worship at my feet.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/dbince/eight.gif"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/dbince/number6.gif">
[/quote]
Thanks for the suggestion, but there's far more deserving self styled demigods on this board to grovel before.

________________________________________________
For videos and tunes from yesteryear, take yer butt over to:
http://nealsnow.multiply.com/