Being An Alterna-kid in the 80's - Your Experience

[dropdeadgothic]

The 80's was an interesting time to come of age. There was so much happening, and not all of it good.

Funny to say it, because really, it's not that long ago, but it took courage in many parts of the country to be a "waver". You might get beat up, spit on, verbally assaulted just for starters. And THAT, just for being brave enough to have adopted that "look". If you were gay AND a waver, you had it twice as bad. The prejudice was incredible. The thing that drew me into the "scene", was the openness and acceptance of the kids in the "community". Everyone was always very warm with each other(I haven't been hugged that often since!), I saw no boundaries between gay and hetero, we were all friends. Hell, it was a second opportunity to enjoy the high esteem many never got in high school. I think the support and encouragement,
is one of the ties that binds us to the music and people we associated with it.

This is my piece. I'd like to hear more thoughts on these and other things that impacted you at that time, in positive and negative ways, either directly or indirectly.


If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[SwampThing]

[quote]being brave enough to have adopted that "look".[/quote] My experience was, that if you *didn't* adopt the look, if was difficult to be accepted. Another words, the kids that "looked" different became discriminating themselves. But at least they weren't aggressive. I never got spit on or beat up, just a very cold shoulder.

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[dropdeadgothic]

Well, kids being kids they identify with their own group, and we knew each other by our look, so it opened up the possibility of conversations where they might not have existed before, no matter where you were. To the kids, either they felt like they likely had nothing in common, because you didn't have that outward thing in common already, or they suspected you of being what was called a "weekend" waver", someone that might adopt the look when they went dancing on the weekends, but didn't have the stomach to live with the shit it garnered throughout the rest of the week. I am sorry it wasn't all positive for you.

If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[SwampThing]

I understand your logic. I still think it was very hypocritical. For me it was *always* about the music, and I wasn't willing to wear the uniform. Trench coats and all black in the summer? Come on [;)]

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[dropdeadgothic]

I agree with you, hyprocritical, but we are talking about kids, right? Many adults are hard put to conduct themselves in a more cordial and mannered fashion. And that uniform was no different than
high schools uniforms of Lawman and James jeans, Nikes, and Guess? jackets, it's part of the culture. Looking back on it though, doesn't make it any easier, especially looking at it with adult sensibilities. I had my own issues with awkwardness and alienation in junior high and high school, so I sympathize.

If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[newwavepunkgirl]

Early 80s: All the other kids liked the same stuff, like when I started high school us Duranie girls hung together but all had out own favorite members. We even did a project on them.(This started a 'trend' as I did a projet on 'grunge' in the 90s at college!)Then I wanted to be Madonna and tried to dress like her. The only person that hassled me for my image was my mother-your not going out looking like that! By the late 80s when I got into metal I got stick because I lived in a small town and you can't even wear a different jacket without being a freak! That's why I never looked goth or anything, I want to stay alive! Actually all through the 90s and 00s I've been hassled for looking different. Now I have bleached hair and look girly punk I get alot less hassle!But I'm still the exact same person![|)]

Devolution is real

[dropdeadgothic]

Newwavepunkgirl, times have changed. Alternative is packaged for mass consumption nowadays, a la HOT TOPIC. There was none of that back in the 80's. Back then, you might have stolen bits and pieces of your favorite bands "look", but you fused it with your own ideas.
You had to be creative all on your own. Doc Marten's were still a small shop item and not sold in Department stores. Bondage trousers?
It wasn't easy to find them. We didn't have the internet at our fingertips, to put all that great UK fashion within reach of anyone no matter where they lived. It was the end of an era in more ways than one, never to be seen again. Things meant something, because it required resourcefulness. Forgeive the rant, looking back and moving forward, it just makes me sad. There are things that got lost.

If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[newwavepunkgirl]

[quote][i]Originally posted by dropdeadgothic[/i]
<br>Newwavepunkgirl, times have changed. Alternative is packaged for mass consumption nowadays, a la HOT TOPIC. There was none of that back in the 80's. Back then, you might have stolen bits and pieces of your favorite bands "look", but you fused it with your own ideas.
You had to be creative all on your own. Doc Marten's were still a small shop item and not sold in Department stores. Bondage trousers?
It wasn't easy to find them. We didn't have the internet at our fingertips, to put all that great UK fashion within reach of anyone no matter where they lived. It was the end of an era in more ways than one, never to be seen again. Things meant something, because it required resourcefulness. Forgeive the rant, looking back and moving forward, it just makes me sad. There are things that got lost.

If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[/quote]

I think you are right, I've noticed that it's easy to buy alternative stuff now and alot of it is over-priced too. I remember when I was about 9 or10 wearing one of my brother's old suit jackets and putting my Police badges on and calling it my pop jacket! And I'd cut up my old jeans when I was a teen and stuff and now you can go buy it all off the rail, i still kinda like adding stuff to clothes like get a plain top and add a little embroderied patch of a skull or whatever but people don't do it much now. It is a shame how alternative has become so mass-produced I agree![8)]

Devolution is real

[Mechi]

Well... I wasn't an alterna-kid in the 80s cos at that time I was a baby but I have to say that the alternative fashion package that exists for kids today, maybe a common part of big cities such as Buenos Aires (Argentina) but not of small places like the one I live in.
During my last year of high school, I was labelled as weird just for wearing The Clash T-shirts and Cure pins on my schoolbag. That so stupid!!! But all alterna-kids or myself (I don't think I'm an alterna-kid.... look different from them and listen to other stuff) get the "weirdo" sticker in smaller towns even nowadays.

<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~myirwin/JD_Montage2.jpg">

[dropdeadgothic]

Mechi, Especially in high school AND in small towns, there is a lot of pressure to "fit in" and not "stick out" or be different. It's generally referred to as "conformity". I spent a lot of time around adults as a child, because there weren't always a lot of children. I became a more "sophisticated" child, with a larger vocabulary and interests that were out of step with my peers. Consequently, I never really "fit in" not that I didn't try. The greatest thing to ever happen to me was high school and new wave. I finally gave up trying to conform, and embraced the idea of being my own person, no matter how much my peers persecuted me for it. I became much stronger because of it.

You go through a lot of changes during puberty, and the last thing anyone needs is to feel is to feel shunned by the very people they want most to be understood by. At that time of your life, it's important to "belong", as part of your ongoing socialization that begins when you first enter daycare or kindergarten here in the US.

So, in summary, I commend you for being weird! It takes a lot more courage, and courage is what's needed after school.

If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[korova1]

I never really thought about this one before. Good topic. Here goes.

Where I grew up, in a reasonably small town of 80,000 souls we stuck together. Not everybody I hung with looked like Robert Smith in those days, but we could just tell who was probably cool, perhaps it was the hair.

Maybe it was an east coast thing, but going out to the clubs was like my home away from home. Every weekend. I remember not falling in too much with the extreme attire, I basically would wear a ripped t-shirt and a pair of jeans or baggies with my chuck taylors. I think I used the Minutemen as my role model for how I should dress most of the time and Echo and the Bunnymen when I'd go to the big city clubs. Since those were my two favorite bands at the time, it made sense.

That what was so cool about those times, it just didn't matter. We had the spiked hair and that stuff, but nothing past a Skinny Puppy t-shirt or a pea coat. There wasn't alot of picking on people for being "weekend wavers", in retrospect, most of us were all poseurs those days anyway. We were small towners trying to be different any way we could. There was a record store downtown which was run by this hippie guy and his wife, and for some reason, they'd get alot of punk and new wave in. Eventually that was all he started to carry because the kids would hit it every weekend. As for shows, one day you could go to a Minor Threat show, another day you could go to a New Order show. That is how it was back then. As long as you liked the music, you were "in" I guess.

Thinking back, the girls were far more adventurous than the guys were. My one girlfriend was crazy goth, and I loved it. Fishnets every day. MMMMM. The girls on the scene went all out, the whole Siouxsie look, half shaved heads, all black, you name it. I dated a few of them, and got alot of shit for it, but I never considered myself a "goth". I liked the look for the ladies, still do in fact, but I never "dove in" other than the hair.

Thrift stores was where I bought my clothes. I couldn't afford a pair of Doc Martens until I was in college and I learned how to save money. But the music, that is a different story... I think that is where most of my money went. As for looking like Rozz Williams, well, my dad had a massive heart attack when I was a junior in high school, so I never felt the need to stress them out or piss them off any more than I had too.

I can remember getting shit from my "jock" acquaintances just for liking the scene and the music. "Why are you going to that stupid club?" or "Why do you like Depeche Mode? Aren't they gay?". It didn't really matter if the bands were gay or not, they made great music. Music was what it was all about. Sexuality preferences of bands or friends never really came into discussion back then about anything. It just didn't exist. To me and my friends, the Smiths, Husker Du, and REM were just great bands.

I also got alot of crap for having an earring before it was deemed appropriate by the masses. In fact I was kicked out of many a party for wearing the thing back in the day. "Sorry, but we don't allow that stuff in here." Whatever. I read an article the other day and 48 percent of people between the age of 19 - 29 have either a piercing or a tattoo these days. Man, I got so much shit for that earring. Wearing an earring was considered to be "gay" whether it was in the right ear or the left where I came from. My girlfriend at the time pierced my ear at a Cure concert, you know with the ice cube and the straight pin. I thought it was cool. Some of my friends did the same and I also remember a gigantic fight over my one bud's earring at a traditional club one time. I am pretty sure they were playing some crap by Nu Shooz or something like that and some guy came out of nowhere and rabbit punched him. So basically a melee ensued. We all got kicked out. My friend with the earring had to have five stiches in his chin. All because of an earring. Amazing. Where I grew up it took courage for a guy to wear an earring in those days. I even remember my hardcore friends hated my earring. They used to tell me they'd rip it out if they ever got the chance.

The scene was so much fun, we'd just lose ourselves in something that was completely different that what everybody else was doing. On those nights we had our own music, our own style, our own evening to ourselves. I still wouldn't trade those days for anything. I remember the first time I went to a club like it was yesterday. I've lost touch with most of those people from back then but I think it was a great time to be alive. That is probably why I still love the music, it reminds of such carefree times.

But as things go, everything eventually came to an end. When the underground music became the norm I went deeper underground. The good clubs went away, the radio started to play the music we went to the clubs to hear, and by the end of the 80's metal and rap came in. The people that used to pick on me or pushed me around for listening to the Cure would show up wearing a Cure t-shirt and a tattoo. That jaded me in a big way. So I really lost interest in how the scene went after that and would only casually go with friends as a last resort... I started to really resent the scene when I noticed how the clubs became so trendy and judgemental. The jocks had appropriate my old scene (Violent Femmes anyone?) and everyone started to look the same and the music was sounding the same, and the "alternative" tag came popping in.

As for Hot Topic, it cracks me up. It was all just a matter of time until we had pre-packaged punksters. That is the way things are now in 2006. You can buy your image instead of earning it. Yeah, it took courage to be a waver in the 80's in some ways, but nowadays it is just a fashion statement.

[dropdeadgothic]

Korova1, thank you for the great post. I really love reading a post that is deliberate and well thought out. This is one of the best I've read in any forum. Somehow, I get the impression that you still carry your values with you. Kudos. You rock in my book!

If I could buy my reasoning,
I would pay to lose

[newwavepunkgirl]

I think you can always tell the real fans from the posers though. I mean the people that are really into the music you can always tell I think.

Devolution is real

[KYYX4ever]

Great post korova, (as always),
I couldn't have said it better myself.

IMO, the 70s & 80s were a fantastic time to be alive, to be a kid/teen, and to experiement with fashion and music. Many folks deride 80s fashion as the worst, but they are remembering crap like leg warmers (ech!), off-the-shoulder-a la [i]Flashdance[/i] shirts, parachute pants, and other crappity crap like that. But we new wavers dressed cooler than that. (Those aforementioned clothes appropriated 80s fashion just like Hot Topic does today; think about it!) Sure, we are now being nostalgic, and have high opinions of our 80s selves, but that was our day, and we reveled in it. Everytime I look at my old pictures from those days ( and see the ones posted here on the 80s & Now Picture Thread), I am amazed at how cute we all looked.
Experimentation was what it was all about--and at that time, it was original.

I thrived on looking unique. It suited me. there, I said it. I spent my teen years living near Seattle, for which I feel lucky. There were all kinds of cool kids and cool dressers over there, at least to me there were. Dropdeadgothic is right: the wavers looked out for each other, supported each other, lots of hugs and networking. Sure, some of them could get a bit snobby with the "right look", but they were far more accepting than the jocks and popular kids at school.

But I still enjoyed the wild looks. As long as you had some friends with whom to dress up, it was swell. We didn't really get ribbed too badly, just the usual comments; nothing too traumatic. That's part of why going to dances/ clubs was so much fun--b/c you saw all kinds of other kids there that enjoyed the same music you did, dressed similarly, and had great hair. You felt a sense of belonging.
Alas! I had to move in the middle of my Senior Year, 1985 (augh! talk about traumatic!) to a small town in Alaska, and by then I was looking more punk than wave. Boy, I got all kinds of grief. And my parents, who didn't mind the waver look, started in on my punk attire. By then, I cared not a whit and was getting ready to head off to college anyway. Alaska had like 10 new wavers and punks in those days, I swear!

But it all made me who I am today. I still dress uniquely, though not wave or punk really (I can't, not for my job), and IMO it's still inspired by the daring, DYI-spirit of the 80s. What a great time to be a teen, that decade!

[dropdeadgothic]

KYYX, the more I hear you express yourself, the higher you're rising in my esteem. I couldn't agree with you more. I wish my friends and I had taken more photos, but I guess we never really thought about it. Like the moment we were living in, would ever end, ya know? Well, I only have one small piece of a picture to remind me. I wish, Seattle people were posting photos from those days, I might see more of that new-romantic lad of yesteryear(still a romantic lad at heart). Thank you, for another enjoyable post.

"Oh look at me I'm covered in punk, covered in new wave, covered in You..."

Portobella - Covered In Punk